Grey, cold and windy

The harbor, in between raindrops

It's amazing to see how so many parts of the world are getting incredible amounts of rain, while others are in a serious drought. Last week in Spain, for instance, the country experienced extreme amounts of rain and flash floods, with hundreds killed or missing. And more is still to come, apparently. While all that rain fell there, places in Australia and others in the northeastern part of America are having unprecedented drought. Whether all of this strange weather might (or might not) be caused by climate change, it is very distressing for those caught up in it. There is no doubt that the entire world is affected by changing weather patterns. And nowhere is safe.

I feel rather fortunate to be dealing with just a few inches of rain and some wind, as we navigate through the fall and move into the winter months. All those leaves on last week's maple tree picture, today, show only a few still hanging on and many bare branches. In almost five weeks we will reach the longest night and shortest day of the year in the Northern Hemisphere before the light returns. In the Christian calendar, Advent falls on December 1st, my birthday. This year, it's also the day before my next eye jab, which obviously I don't look forward to in any way. But I also won't miss it, since it's the only chance I have of keeping the central vision in my left eye.

I don't wish this awful eye disease (geographic atrophy) on anyone. Yesterday I walked with my friend Steve down the South Bay trail to Woods Coffee and back, and because it was so overcast and dark, my ability to see ahead was quite compromised. I am often reminded of the Biblical phrase "through a glass darkly." It means to have an imperfect or obscure vision of reality. It appears in 1 Corinthians 13:12, where the Apostle Paul writes, "For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known."

As I continue to deal with this affliction, which will only get worse as I age, I think of Helen Keller, who suffered an infection as a toddler that took not only her sight, but also her ability to hear. She became almost feral in her early childhood, until her teacher, Anne Sullivan, was able to reach her through tapping the word "w-a-t-e-r" into her palm, and Helen finally got the message that allowed her to soar to heights that still astonish people today. In her long and productive life, she learned to read five languages, and she was the first deaf and blind person ever to graduate from college (Radcliffe) which she did by graduating cum laude with a BA degree in 1904. She didn't stop there: Helen met thirteen presidents during her lifetime, and wrote books that are still available today. She lived a long life and died at 87. If Helen could do all that, I think it's appropriate for me to start looking for ways for me to help others, rather than allow self-pity to dominate my life. Although she died in 1968, she still inspires others through her writing.

When I compare my life with hers, I realize that sight is not as important in becoming a good person as having a positive attitude about one's situation. I still remember from her memoir a time when she was reading a story (in Braille) and was so caught up in it that she had to stop and calm herself before continuing. I think it was "Tale of Two Cities" but I'm not sure. In any event, I am grateful for Helen's contribution to our world. She helped to establish the American Civil Liberties Union and was very active in politics. 

She changed her world in many ways, and it makes me wonder if I am being too passive in my own situation today. Although during the past election I supported the losing candidate, I learned so much about the ways America has changed, some for the better, since Helen was alive and active. For one thing, we have instant access to the news of the day, as well as plenty of misinformation that needs to be recognized for what it is. I wonder how she would have dealt with the issues that have emerged in our present-day world.

Helen Keller wrote 14 books and over 475 speeches and essays on topics such as faith, nature, racism, human rights, and overcoming adversity. She read avidly and wrote about many of the significant political, social, and cultural movements of the 20th century.

When I think of how much she accomplished, I realize that I shouldn't compare my life to hers, but instead concentrate on what I can still learn and share with others. If I take her life as an inspiration, I can see how just opening myself up to what I might achieve in the time I have left to me can enrich not only my own life, but others as well. I am eternally grateful for the ability to think clearly, feel deeply, and act accordingly. If I can inspire even one person to give themselves a much-needed pat on the back, it's worth trying, don't you think?

And now I sit here in the dark, thinking with affection about all of you, my dear virtual family, and what we can do to lift up our spirits, as well as those of our neighbors. Let's concentrate on all the good around us; it's there if we just look. Until we meet again next week, dear friends, I wish you all good things. Be well.

Feeling my way ahead

Favorite tree in glorious fall colors

I walk by this tree several times a week, year round. It's in Cornwall Park. A huge maple tree, I think a Japanese maple looking at the shape of the leaves. I am not someone who knows her trees, but this one looks so lovely through all the seasons, even in winter when it's bare of leaves. When we get our next windstorm, it will be completely bare. Until next spring, that is.

There are two meanings to the title of this post: the necessity to learn how to "see" things by feel, and finding my way through the sadness that engulfs me every time I think of the election this past week. We Democrats not only lost the presidency, but also the Senate and, most likely, the House of Representatives. Not to mention a Supreme Court that gave away the checks and balances that our founders put into the Constitution more than a quarter of a millennium ago. Even so, all of life's events that are born also have to face a demise. Perhaps this is the end of the wonderful experiment that they created so long ago, or maybe it's just another form of government being created. Who knows? I certainly don't and will probably not live to see the election of another president. I wrestle with fear and sadness almost every day.

Being alone with fear can rapidly turn into panic. Being alone with frustration can rapidly turn into anger. Being alone with disappointment can rapidly turn into discouragement and, even worse, despair. —Mark Goulston

Yes, I am sad, but I am also not wanting to withdraw from life and all the challenges that I face every day. You see, the other part of the post's title has to do with losing my ability to see, to discern shapes as they truly are, and not the way my failing eyes skew my vision. Since I can still see well enough to write on my laptop, I will take advantage of this time to learn all I can about how others cope with low vision. I don't read books anymore, but I can still get any that I want to read in audio form. For the moment, I can also continue to read blog posts from my online community, and continue to post twice a week without much problem.

Getting older and losing one's faculties is something everyone who is blessed to live a long life will have to deal with. Now that I am approaching my eighty-second birthday, I can proudly say I've already done it: gone through all the phases of life and have plenty of like-minded old people to hang out with. And that is what the Senior Center has given me already, and will continue to give me as I grow in my ability to serve others. That is one of the most amazing aspects of aging: finding new ways to be happy and not taking any of my days for granted.  

Like many others, I was devastated on Wednesday morning when I woke to see the news, and the only good part about it is realizing that many of my fellow Americans got just what they wanted. I happen to live in a blue state, and during the election season I didn't see even one Trump/Vance sign. Plenty of Harris/Walz ones, though, and it gave me the wrong impression of the direction the country was headed. I just didn't expect the gut punch I received on Wednesday morning, and now I am trying to find my way ahead.

I am no stranger to grief, having lost both of my children and both of my parents, as well as a sister and many friends over the years. I know how to navigate grief, and I also know that the place I am in right now will change and become easier to bear as the days and weeks pass. When my infant son Stephen died, I was only 22 and had very little ability to navigate the headwaters I faced. It took me a decade to find happiness and wholeness again, but I did, of course. My son Chris was only 4 when he lost his brother, and then his father when we divorced. He bore the scars of his childhood until he too died at the age of 40 while serving in the Army. The feeling I have today resembles the one I felt in the early days after Chris' sudden death.

Yesterday morning I went on my usual walk from the coffee shop with my friend Steve. I was in a black mood when we started, but after a mile or so of being outside in the light rain showers with a good friend, I began to feel much more like myself. Exercise always makes me feel better, and this week I discovered another way to cope: service to others. When I worked on Thursday through the lunchroom hours, I didn't think for a moment about anything except what I had to accomplish to help others enjoy their lunch. I walked out on my way to the bus, feeling whole and happy for the first time this week. It makes me realize what a difference it makes when one stops wallowing in pain by helping others deal with life's ups and downs. Service: I think I'll do more of it.

And just by sitting here in the dark and writing down these words, I realize that I am more grounded and feeling better today than I thought I would. Today, by the way, would have been my son Chris' sixty-third birthday. He never had the chance to grow old, but I can imagine the balding gray-haired old gentleman he would have turned into, since so many of my companions have already done so. Although I don't celebrate his birthday these days, I can send a missive of love and appreciation into the Universe for his life. 

Thank you to my dear readers as well, for being there, for going through your own lives and finding ways to deal with all the travails that come our way during the weeks and years we share. I hope I will be able to see well enough to continue this endeavor for a bit longer, but don't you worry, I'll find a way. My sweet partner still sleeps next to me at this moment, and I have plenty of blog posts to read this morning, as the rain gently falls outside. Soon my friend John will pick me up and we'll go out for our Sunday morning breakfast. Until we meet again next week, I wish you all good things. Be well.

It's that time again

Leaves carpeting the trail

As much as I love this time of year, for many reasons, I don't enjoy the rain as much as I once did, but the beautiful fallen leaves gracing the trail remain delightful. I'm feeling pretty good and watching the bounteous summer turning into autumn also makes me grateful for my ability to watch the show and play in the cool air once again.

The other thing that happens at this time of year is changing our clocks back one hour. It means that, although my clock says it's 4:30 in the morning, I need to find a subject that will inspire both me and my readers, and right now nothing is coming.

I did come up with the idea of discussing "the vicissitudes of life," whatever that means. Spending some time reading about what different schools of thought consider to be "vicissitudes" is enlightening. According to Buddhist thought, the eight vicissitudes of life are four sets of opposites: gain and loss, status and disgrace, praise and censure, pleasure and pain. The word vicissitude is a descendant of the Latin noun vicis, meaning "change" or "alternation," and it has been a part of the English language since the 16th century. It's not a word that you hear a lot these days, or a concept that is often written about, apparently. Or maybe I have just not been reading much of anything and I have forgotten about it.

Joy is a spiritual element that gives vicissitudes unity and significance.—Helen Keller

 I am always happy to find myself joyful, and although it comes sometimes without warning, I find myself looking for things that fill me with joy. I will sometimes be walking down the street in my usual neutral attitude, and suddenly I find myself feeling happy for no reason I can discern. Anything that takes my grumpy melancholy away is wonderful, even if I cannot exactly say why it happens.

Everyone has different techniques for getting through tough spots in life, and I often find that a walk will do it for me. After about a half hour or so of being outside in the weather, no matter what it is, I feel myself letting go of those things that hold back the joy of just being alive and ambulatory. And I have plenty of different types of clothing that will allow me to be outdoors and feel ready for the elements. That said, I find that I am not exactly thrilled to be heading outdoors in a rainstorm, but it sure does give me pleasure to face the vicissitudes of weather and not be forced indoors just because. Plus I have a warm home to enter, even if I'm wet, and getting into a hot shower and dry clothes is a delightful end to a soggy adventure. And I wouldn't have had it if I hadn't made the effort. No wonder it's often why I feel good afterwards.

By the time I write in this post next week, I'll know what happened with the American election. It's been a tough time for us all, including those who aren't even in this country, and I am hoping that the Universe will allow for the right outcome to emerge. And who knows what that is, really? We sure don't, because while our planet is going through its growing pains, other constellations and galaxies take a much longer view. An emerging star in the dust lanes of a distant cosmic nebula is not all that concerned with what is happening here on Earth.

Falling stars

For now, I'll keep using the tools I have in my own little corner of the world, those that have served me for decades and will probably help me get through the vicissitudes of life that I have ahead of me. Those of service, love for others, and an ability to take a longer view should keep me in one piece. For now.

I do hope that all of my virtual family are doing well, or as well as can be expected considering whatever vicissitudes of life you are facing at the moment. My dear sweet partner still sleeps quietly next to me, my tea is long gone, and I've got some time to read articles and comics on this gentle Sunday morning. John will pick me up and we'll go out for our usual breakfast. There will be more light in the sky for a few weeks, and the sun in this part of the country will set before 5:00 until next year. The dark days of winter lie ahead of us, before the cycle begins again. Until we meet again next week, dear friends, I wish you all good things. Be well.

Marcellus my new octofriend

Marcellus, white eye showing above his suckers

Yesterday, I went for a nice walk around the waterfront with my friend Steve. Although I am perfectly capable, for now, of going on these walks alone, I am really grateful to Steve for his companionship and conversation. We went more than five miles and, when we got to the Marine Life Center, we went in to visit the new octopus who is now a resident. He was picked up when some fishermen caught him in a net, and although injured, he has recovered quite well and is now eating and playing (as all octopuses seem to do) in a covered sanctuary. He can be viewed easily, as you can see from this picture, but signs everywhere remind visitors to talk softly and not to point at him. They are very sensitive creatures.

I first visited when Sherlock, another Giant Pacific octopus, had been captured and was available for viewing. When Sherlock was first captured, he was ten pounds and stayed for several months before being released back into the sea. He gained thirteen pounds during that time and made many human friends, who cared for him and probably still miss his presence. They can grow much larger, up to around 150 pounds during their relatively short life span.

Marcellus is much smaller, although another giant Pacific octopus, and he was given plenty of TLC when he first arrived and has gained a fair amount of weight in the short time he has been at the Center. He will also be released at some point in the future to return to his natural environment. It is fascinating to me to watch him, to wonder what is going on in his mind that allows him to settle into captivity and seemingly thrive. I was first enthralled by octopuses when, by chance, I watched a wonderful Netflix documentary about them. You can see it at My Octopus Teacher if you have a Netflix account. I've watched it several times and certainly will again.

Last Thursday, I almost decided to hike with my regular group, instead of working in the lunchroom at the Senior Center. But I finally did my usual volunteer session and ended up working harder than I have before. It was partly because they were serving Salisbury Steak, which apparently is a real favorite of the clientele. I ended up taking home a vegetarian patty, with mashed potatoes and green peas. There were so many people in line that some people had to eat and leaVe more quickly than usual to allow us to accommodate everyone. For the first time, there were still people coming through the door when we usually are finished for the day. Although I got very tired and ended up walking more than 10,000 steps during my shift, I found that when I tried to remember three or four requests in a row that I simply couldn't do it. 

I also learned that it makes a huge difference when people are appreciative of your efforts and don't just treat you like part of the furniture. An imperious snap of the fingers, pointing at an empty cup, didn't make me more likely to hurry to fill it. In fact, I found that when someone treated me like that, it made me angry and resentful. That was the first time in the lunchroom that I realized what a difference it makes when people are having a good time and pass along their appreciation to those around them.

I am also already seeing some regulars who must come for lunch every day, sit in the same places each time, surrounding themselves with the same companions and enjoying both the food and the camaraderie. I overheard someone telling another to be less judgmental of those of us serving them because we are volunteers, not paid staff.

The lunchroom before the onslaught

There are eleven round tables to set up, each with six chairs, which are stacked on the walls before we take them apart and put them around the tables. You can see the lazy susan in the center, holding ice water, glasses, salt and pepper, sugar packets, and a plastic flower bouquet. Everything except the flowers are wiped down carefully before and after we use them. Everyone works together, without anyone being in charge, helping one another.

'Thank you' is the best prayer that anyone could say. I say that one a lot. Thank you expresses extreme gratitude, humility, understanding. —Alice Walker

I really enjoy being part of a team, and I have made more friends who will be there with me as we work to help others. Through example, many people help others just by being appreciative, and others by showing the best way to accomplish a task. Everyone is working together and it lifts everybody up. As you can see, there is a good reason why I am enjoying my new role at the Senior Center.

It also helps me to remain positive, to look past the news of the world towards a better future, towards a brighter day ahead. All of us here on this tiny planet can do something to make today better for someone, and it also helps us as well, to bask in the hope ahead for a kinder, more gentle world. We can only accomplish a little bit of that, each day, but it adds up. And there are plenty of helpers along the way, if we look for them and fill our hearts with love and gratitude.

That's it for today, dear friends. When we meet again next week, I hope that your days are filled with happiness and healthy thoughts. I must say that just writing this post has helped me. I think of Marcellus, my new friend, and Michelle, another new friend who has helped me learn the lunchroom ropes. And many others who surround me with good vibes. Until we meet again, I wish you all good things. Be well.

I found my tribe

Me at the Volunteers party

Last Friday, we volunteers were treated to a wonderful Roaring Twenties party to introduce us to the new venue for the Bellingham Senior Center. It won't be ready for a couple of years, but I should be an old hand (in many senses of the word) by then, knowing all the tricks and trades of the kitchen helpers. Although I've now only been to four Thursday lunch setups and serving duties, I feel it's where I belong. I always get at least 10,000 steps running around and helping people, and no other volunteer activities seem to offer as much exercise, which (as you know) I love. If you give me a chance to move at top speed for more than two hours, and feeling well used at the end, it's my idea of time well spent. 

Lynda looking really pretty on the dance floor

The first task I had to undertake in this group is to accept that I belong here, with these seniors, and that I have something to offer that uses my skills and helps me to feel useful as I approach my eighty-second birthday. That large area where the seniors are dancing will be redesigned to be a place where many different activities can take place. Right now we are in a building that has few options for expansion. I took a tour of the new facility and am very impressed with how it will all be used.

I can still take the occasional Thursday hike with my old hiking partners, as they are also getting older and slower, but mostly I have migrated over to the Tuesday hikers, since they take a much less strenuous walk or hike and I end up being one of the more fit hikers, rather than struggling to keep up, as it often turns out with the Thursday hikes. I do know, however, that it's important to keep my exercise routine going for as long as I can. Once I stop, well, it will be something I did in my early years. When I was young, my whole life stretched before me, I would use the phrase "the rest of my life" as if it was infinite. But it's not. Life for each one of us is finite and limited by the events we experience, whether or not we stay active. 

When I was just starting out, when I first began to feel like an adult in my early teens, I had no idea what the future would hold for me. I remember a long-ago Fourth of July in our backyard, when Daddy gave us sparklers to play with, and he lighted them with a cigarette. He asked me to hold it while he set things alight, and I still remember how grown-up I felt holding a cigarette. Many years later I tried to stop smoking, and I finally succeeded in my thirties. No, that innocent foray long ago didn't get me started with smoking, but peer pressure and then addiction held me in its sway for much longer than I wanted.

And then as I simply lived my life, I got old and felt as though I could no longer be free to act like the kid I still felt myself to be. Life is a true blessing, and all the various iterations of the many versions of myself are still part of me. Being old is also a blessing, right? Not everybody gets to experience it.

The most important thing I can tell you about aging is this: If you really feel that you want to have an off-the-shoulder blouse and some big beads and thong sandals and a dirndl skirt and a magnolia in your hair, do it. Even if you're wrinkled. —Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou was one of the most prolific poets of her day; she was born in 1928 and lived to be 86. She was always an inspiration to me, and the phrase "I know why the caged bird sings" is what I think of when I remember her. It communicates everything to me. That's another aspect of age: I think of those who are already dead as mentors who will help me over that hump we all face in our future. When I was young, I felt that once you had died you were simply gone. I don't think that any more, partly because of the continuing effects on the living that many who are gone still impart to those of us still here.

When I ponder the wonderful gift I have been given, the life I have lived and continue to enjoy, even through the tribulations of change and diminishment, I cannot help but be filled with gratitude. All of the many people I have been are still part of me: the mother who played with her infant and the mother who buried them. The earthbound person who learned to fly in the air with her friends, and the person who finally gave it up when it was time. The person who searched for her tribe once she got old, and finally found it at the Senior Center, surrounded by others who find that service to others is very uplifting and joyful.

It certainly helps me continue to enjoy life to be able to share it with my dear partner, he who shares my days and sleeps next to me every night. And I do cherish all the wonderful gifts of community that I have with my virtual family as well. The fact that I can still see well enough to read and write is something I never take for granted these days. I know one day it will be gone, but then again, so will this body. It wasn't made for permanence, whatever that is. The only true constant of our existence is change, and I accept that with joy and sorrow. Glad I have it now, but sorry it will be gone in the future.

Mercy! This turned out to be different than I expected it to be, when I decided to write about my new senior existence. But it's appropriate, and I do feel better now that it's out of my head and poured into the post. I think of you, my dear virtual family, often when I consider that the continuance of my days and our time together will one day pass away, but not yet, not now. You deserve to look for joy and happiness in your days, just as I also deserve the same thing. Until we meet again next week, dear friends, I wish you all good things. Be well.

Election Day is coming

Dahlias at Hovander Park

I am a real fan of dahlias, which only come to grace our gardens with their blossoms at the end of summer and early fall. These were taken when the Senior Trailblazers went to Hovander Park in Ferndale a couple of weeks ago. Since we have still not had a hard frost, I expect that they are still doing well. We've had a few nights of temperatures in the low 40s (6°C), but nothing colder than that. Yet.

However, this weekend has given us the most wonderful cool and sunny weather that anyone could hope for, even those used to more moderate temperatures, like people from Hawaii or more temperate climes than we get here in the winter. We are just entering fall, and winter is a few months away. 

Leaves are starting to fall

But between us and winter lies another scary time, and I'm not talking about Halloween. It's the American election. I am going to take a moment away from my usual (hopefully) uplifting posts to discuss what is uppermost in my mind right now: the election in three weeks. Any day now, we who live in Washington State should receive our ballots in the mail and will fill them out and either post them, or place them in a drop box outside the Bellingham City Hall. Given the stakes of this election, both me and my guy are anxiously awaiting them and will fill them out and get them into the drop boxes right away.

Not only do I consider it to be our civic duty to vote, but frankly, it is the ONLY thing I can do other than to send money to my preferred candidates. That's all available to me at this moment in time. When we lived in Colorado, we were some of the very early voters in line to cast our votes on Election Day, and at first I really didn't like that we couldn't have that moment duplicated here in Washington State. But now I have grown to prefer it this way, because we can be assured that our votes will definitely be counted and not manipulated in any way. 

I am really having a hard time understanding why this election is so close. What is it about Trump that he has such loyal followers when his rhetoric is so hard to follow? And when he is saying such awful things about his fellow citizens? By this time in the election, I expected that the polls would reflect a landslide for Kamala, but no, as the days pass, her lead is shrinking and we are in danger of Trump being re-elected once again. I was so happy when Biden dropped out and endorsed Harris, an amazing woman with stellar credentials for the job. She started out strong, and I watched the entire Democratic convention and enjoyed the spectacle and everyone who spoke. It was like a balm to my liberal soul to watch so many people all around the country come together with joy and enthusiasm.

Election days come and go. But the struggle of the people to create a government which represents all of us and not just the one percent — a government based on the principles of economic, social, racial and environmental justice — that struggle continues. —Bernie Sanders

I voted for Bernie and was disappointed when he was not our candidate, but I voted enthusiastically for Hillary and was looking forward to our first woman president. Now I am there again, but I've learned the lesson of 2016: don't assume you know what the electorate will do. Of course, Hillary won the popular vote but lost the Electoral College. And we might be seeing a repeat of eight years ago once again. So, here I am sitting at my computer in the dark, typing away and hoping for the best. I wish I could take a longer view and realize that all things work together for good, eventually, but there are so many people all around the world suffering horribly that I forget sometimes to simply stop and just sit, fold my hands in prayer, and turn it all over. The only person who can help me to see the longer view is me.

Yesterday I had the most delightful walk to Squalicum Harbor with my friend Steve. We walked around five miles, and I have now begun to hold his arm whenever we are together, taking it just above his elbow, and feeling safe whenever we come to an obstacle or street corner. At first I held it only at the street corners, but I began to hold on longer and longer, because it made me feel so much more confident. He's like my Seeing Eye Buddy, but I don't get to see him except on Saturdays and for a few minutes on Thursday before he heads off to teach his chemistry class. He still works full time at the local community college.

We met in the coffee shop more than a year ago, but I cannot imagine my life today without his company. He's very smart and taught me to do sudoku, but I've let it go because I enjoy word games much more than numbers. We play some New York Times games like Wordle and Connections before we head out the door on our walk. The one thing we rarely do is talk politics, since we both need to look on the bright side of life and just enjoy being together. He has become a good friend indeed.

I wish there was a way to describe what is happening with my eyesight. Last week I had the third eye jab in my left eye, and I don't think I've lost any vision since I started with the injections, but they only slow the progression, not stop it, so I am always braced for what comes next. I realize that I can continue to write here and read your blogs, only because of what's still not gone from the left eye. Everything eventually comes to an end, and I will find some way to enjoy my life and find new activities once I can no longer see to read. Habits of a lifetime are just that: habits. I will find new ones and discover a way to keep myself happy and content in my life with whatever comes next. I am already well into my eighties and so I am not looking to start anything too difficult or time consuming. 

Volunteering at the Senior Center has already become a very delightful activity, and I will be able to continue that for the near future. I really enjoy being a waitperson with my fellow seniors and actually can do it pretty well. Plus I get more than ten thousand steps just during that two-and-a-half-hour stretch. I'm usually pretty tired afterwards and it feels just great to have been part of a team. Hopefully I will end up being a real asset and not just a newbie to that team. They are delightful people who have accepted me as one of their own. I like that!

Well, this post didn't turn out to be as much of a downer as I feared it might. I now am looking forward to my Sunday breakfast with John, and experiencing yet another beautiful sunny day. I got my flu shot yesterday and my arm is hardly sore (Yay!). I was afraid I might have a bad reaction but no, it's nothing really. Much better than getting the flu, and if I do get it after all, it should be a mild case. Life is good, and the coming days should be pleasurable, with the right attitude and not too much news to bring me down. I hope you will be enjoying yourself, too, and finding ways to concentrate on the positive and not the negative. We do get to choose what we focus on, right?

And my dear partner still sleeps next to me as I write this, and my tea is long gone. The day beckons, and I find myself feeling much better than when I began. I do hope you will find a great week ahead, and I look forward to our next gathering here. Until then, be well, dear friends.

Fall is upon us

Steve in front of mums, eating a jalapeño bagel

Yesterday, I went on my usual Saturday walk with my friend Steve. While at the most distant spot on our walk, we stopped at the Haggen Grocery Store so I could use the bathroom and he could buy himself a tasty bagel. He likes spicy stuff and when I asked for a bite, he gave me one with some jalapeño on it, and it immediately cleared up my nose, like magic.

We walked just over six miles, and I began to feel myself tire around the five-mile mark, so instead of extending the walk, we headed back to the starting point. I have not yet recovered fully from the effects of covid, even though I had a booster just a week before getting sick. It took me a few days to get over it and feel better, but I didn't test negative for a day or two after that. My dear partner is still sick, having gotten it from me, and since he is immune compromised, he's still coughing but gradually, slowly, recovering. I feel a tiny bit guilty for having given it to him and then bounded back so quickly. However, my continued tiredness and low energy is expected, I guess. I am grateful to be in such good health that I can fight off the illness with little after-effects. Just the lack of boundless energy, but it's a little better every day.

On Monday, I will receive another eye jab, and I am not ashamed to say that I am NOT looking forward to it, but the fact that this treatment exists at all, and that I can get it mostly paid for by my Medicare Advantage Plan is a benefit that I hope will help me keep more of my sight from deteriorating. It's only expected to slow the progression of the geographic atrophy, not stop it completely. But the fact that I can still to this day sit here with my laptop and see to type is worth whatever I must endure. Every day when I wake, I am unsure whether I will be able to see well enough to write a post. One day, I will find that the central vision is gone from my left eye and although I will be able to make some adjustments to help me get something on this post, it won't be easy. Sometimes I cover up my left eye and see whether I could continue to write. The answer is complicated: yes, I could use the audio feature to write something here, but I couldn't go back and read it, rewrite parts of it (as I always do). I'll come to that one of these days, but for now I'm still functional with my good eye.

We all know that everything in life is temporary anyhow, right? I've been blessed with good health and work-arounds for many aspects of aging, especially if I am willing to take "good enough" and not pine for the days when I didn't even have to think of these shortcomings.

Love grows more tremendously full, swift, poignant, as the years multiply. —Zane Grey

 The fact that I have outlived both of my parents and most of my immediate family makes me feel quite accomplished in some ways. I am the oldest of six siblings, and my dear sister PJ died more than a decade ago. We all have been taking statins for many decades to combat the hyperlipidemia that we inherited. I will be signing up for my annual wellness visit within the next few weeks and will see how my blood work lines up with past years. But before that happens, I need to get through the eye jab and the dentist. Sigh. As I sit  here in the dark, I realize how fortunate I am to have these options open to me, but it doesn't mean I enjoy them.

That said, I realize how lucky I am to live in the Pacific Northwest, with its moderate climate, and to have a warm rented home to live in within my means. There are so many people in the world who would see my life as incredibly fortunate. So I do my best to help others and give as much as I afford to charitable organizations. Right now most of my disposable income is going to political campaigns, but that will end soon and I can go back to Doctors Without Borders and St Jude Children's Hospital. 

I am reminded that I have a choice every day, when I begin my week, looking at my circumstances and realizing how much better my life is than so many others. At the coffee shop, I see homeless people everywhere, those who carry their few precious belongings around behind them in a cart. I see them on the bus, on street corners, and gathered together sometimes to create a makeshift community. They will struggle to stay warm during the upcoming cold weather. I wonder if they look at me, many decades older, and feel compassion for me, as I do for them.

This morning I am hopeful that my dear partner will be a bit closer to being healthy. He's been coughing so much I worry about him, but his body aches and tiredness are beginning to moderate. When I think back to the days of the pandemic, I never imagined that we would still be getting the virus and being vaccinated against it, these many years later.

I feel so much gratitude for the life I have been given, and I am happy to share the small little corner of my world with my life partner, as well as with all my virtual family that comes to visit me every day. I am also feeling blessed to have such wonderful activities available to me, such as the Senior Center and the hiking friends I have known all these years. And I can still walk on most of them, feeling just a little twinge that the hard hikes are no longer within my reach. There are plenty of other walks and hikes to enjoy, so I will.

My friend John will be by to take me to breakfast, our usual Sunday morning activity, and I will then come home to do some mundane tasks (like laundry) and go out into the sun and clouds as I walk my usual three miles, taking in the changing leaves and feeling the fallen ones swishing under my feet. And I also hope that you, my dear virtual friend, will have a wonderful and satisfying week ahead. Until we meet again next week, I wish you all good things. Be well.

So pretty!